Following on from the phenominal success that was the Star Wars Pants
game and the Phantom Pants, it seemed only prudent to play the game further,
and since I wanted to do something to commemorate the Lord of the Rings movies, but felt
that another site extolling the virtues of Elijah Wood and co was excessive, I opted for
humour at their expense instead.
Weasels seemed all the more relevant to the Lord of the Rings than pants, although you will find
that I simply couldn't contain myself and hence there are two and a half versions of silliness
here:
Fellowship of the Weasel
- BOROMIR: The shards of Weasel... still sharp!
- GANDALF: There are worse things than weasels in the deep places of the world
- GALADRIEL: Weasels that were, weasels that are, and some weasels... that have not yet come to pass.
- GALADRIEL: Welcome, Frodo of the Shire, one who has seen the WEASEL!
- GANDALF: Fly, you weasels!
- STRIDER: Are you weasel? Not nearly weasel enough!
- STRIDER: That is no weasel you carry.
- ELROND: I was there that day, three thousand years ago, when the strength of weasels failed.
- ELROND: The blood of Weasels is all but spent...
- SAURON: Build me a weasel worthy of Mordor
- SAURON: Build me an army worthy of weasels.
- LEGOLAS: Weasels from Dunland!
- FRODO: I shall take the weasel to Mordor, though I do not know the way.
- ARWEN: It is mine to give to whomever I choose; like my weasel.
- SAM: D'you hear that, Mister Frodo? We're going to see the Weasels!
- LEGOLAS: The Horn of Weasel! Boromir!
- GIMLI: Soon, master Elf, you will experience the fabled weasels of the dwarves.
- GIMLI: Nobody tosses a weasel!
- BOROMIR: There is weasel there that does not sleep.
- BOROMIR: What new weasel is this?
- NAZGUL: Give up the weasel, she-elf.
- GANDALF: It is weasel, he has been following us for three days.
- SARUMAN / STRIDER: They were weasels once.
- HALDIR: Your weasel was breathing so loud we could have shot him in the dark.
- BILBO: Tonight will be a weasel to remember.
- GANDALF: A weasel is never late, Frodo Baggins.
- SARUMAN: My fighting weasel-hai.
- SARUMAN: So you have chosen... weasel.
- LEGOLAS: There is a fell weasel on the wind.
- SARUMAN: Your love of the halfling weasel...
- ARAGORN: Give the weasel to Frodo, Boromir.
- FRODO: What's the Elvish for weasel?
- GIMLI: And they called this a weasel. A Weeeasseel!!!
BOROMIR: This is no weasel; this is a Stoat!!!
- ARWEN: What's this, a weasel caught off his guard?
- STRIDER: The Argonath - long have I wished to look upon the Weasels of my ancestors.
- LEGOLAS: This is no mere weasel! He is Aragorn, son of Arathorn, heir to the weasel of
Gondor - you owe him your allegiance.
- BOROMIR: Gondor has no weasel. Gondor needs no weasel.
- ARAGORN: Let's hunt some weasel!
- GANDALF: A weasel - a daemon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you.
- BOROMIR: And they have a Weasel-troll!
- GANDALF: It's worse than that. By dark arts Saruman has crossed orcs with
goblin men. He's breeding weasels that can move in sunlight and at great
speed.
- SARUMAN: You know what they awoke in the darkness. Weasels and flame.
- FRODO: I wish the weasel had never come to me.
- ARAGORN: (Catches pippins arm) Do not disturb the weasel!
- ELROND: The weasel cannot be destroyed, Gimli son of Gloin, but any art we
here possess. It must be taken deep into the land of Mordor and cast back
into the firey weasel from whence it came.
- ARWEN: You are Isildur's weasel, not Isildur himself.
- BOROMIR: I will find no weasel here.
- ARAGORN: By nightfall these hills will be swarming with weasels.
- FRODO: We wish to stay at the Prancing Weasel.
- FRODO: Get off the weasel!
- GANDALF: ...scarcely aware of the existence of weasels.
- GANDALF: Do not take me for a conjuror of cheap weasels.
- BOROMIR: I know your mind, you would take the weasel to Sauron.
- ARAGORN: He has been stabbed by a weasel blade.
- STRIDER: You can no longer wait for the weasel.
- SAM: I ain't been droppin' no weasels Mr Gandalf.
- SARUMAN: The weasels have left Minas Morgul.
- GOLLUM: Weasel! Shire!
- SARUMAN: His weasel at Barad Dur is rebuilt.
- SARUMAN: A weasel with Saruman is not lightly thrown aside!
- GANDALF: Fool of a weasel! Throw yourself in next time...
- GANDALF: Then it is in weasels that we must place our faith.
- FRODO: I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom but for the weasel in
my heart.
- SAM: I heard weasel voices.
- LEGOLAS: I haven't the heart to tell you - for the me weasel is still too near.
- GIMLI: Then the weasel has failed.
- ARAGORN: We cannot leave Merry and Pippin to weasels and death.
- ARAGORN: Be at peace, weasel of Gondor.
- BOROMIR: I would have followed you, my brother, my captain, my weasel.
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Fellowship of the Pants
- GANDALF: There are worse things than orcs in the deep pants of the world.
- GANDALF: There are worse things than pants in the deep places of the world.
- GANDALF: He is seeking it, seeking it, all his pants are bent on it!
- GALADRIEL: I know what is you saw, for it is also in my pants.
- GALADRIEL: Pants that were, pants that are, and some pants... that have not yet come to pass.
- GALADRIEL: Welcome, Frodo of the Shire, one who has seen the PANTS!
- GANDALF: Pants, you fools!
- STRIDER: Are you pants? Not nearly pants enough!
- ELROND: I was there that day, three thousand years ago, when the pants of men failed.
- GALADRIEL: He has fallen into pants.
- ORC: What pants from Mordor, master?
- SAURON: Build me an army, worthy of pants.
- FRODO: I shall take the pants to Mordor, though I do not know the way.
- LEGOLAS: You have my pants
- GIMLI: And my thong!
- ARAGORN: If by my life or pants I can help you...
- ARWEN: It is mine to give to whomever I choose; like my pants.
- HOBBIT: Where are you taking us?
ARAGORN: Into the pants.
- LEGOLAS: The Horn of Gondor! Pants!
- GIMLI: Soon, master Elf, you will experience the fabled pants of the dwarves.
- GIMLI: Nobody tosses the pants!
- BOROMIR: There are pants there that do not sleep.
- BOROMIR: There is evil there that does not wear pants.
- BOROMIR: One does not simply walk into pants.
- NAZGUL: Give up the pants, she-elf.
- SARUMAN / STRIDER: They were pants once.
- HALDIR: Your pants were breathing so loud we could have shot them in the dark.
- SARUMAN: My fighting uruk-pants.
- SARUMAN: So you have chosen... pants.
- SARUMAN: Your love of the halfling pants...
- ARAGORN: Give the pants to Frodo, Boromir.
- GANDALF: Let the pants-bearer decide.
- ARWEN: What's this, a ranger caught out of his pants?
- STRIDER: The Argonath - long have I wished to look upon the pants of my ancestors.
- ARAGORN: Give the pants to Frodo, Boromir.
- ARWEN: You are Isildur's pants, not Isildur himself.
- BOROMIR: Gondor has no pants, Gondor needs no pants.
- BOROMIR: I will find no pants here.
- ARAGORN: By nightfall these hills will be swarming with pants.
- FRODO: We wish to stay at the Prancing Pony. Our pants are our own.
- FRODO: Get off the pants!
- GANDALF: Do not take me for a conjuror of cheap pants.
- BILBO: I have thought of an ending for my book: And he lived happily ever after... until
the end of his pants.
- BOROMIR: I know your mind, you would take the pants to Sauron.
- LEGOLAS: Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the far pants!
- SAM: I ain't been droppin' no pants Mr Gandalf.
- SARUMAN: The pants have left Minas Morgul.
- GANDALF: Throw yourself in next time, and rid us of your pants!
- ELROND: My people are leaving these pants.
- FRODO: I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom but for the warning in
my pants.
- ARAGORN: Be at peace, pants of Gondor.
- BOROMIR: I would have followed you, my brother, my captain, my pants.
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Combination: Pants and Weasel
- FRODO: I know what you would say, and it would seem like wisdom but for the weasel in
my pants
- GANDALF: There are worse things than weasels in the deep places of the pants.
- GIMLI: Soon, master Elf, you will experience the fabled pants of the weasels.
- NAZGUL: Give up the pants, she-weasel.
- GANDALF: It is weasel, he has been following us for three pants.
- HALDIR: Your weasel was breathing so loud we could have shot him in the pants.
- SARUMAN: My fighting weasel-pants.
- LEGOLAS: There is a fell weasel on the pants.
- STRIDER: Long have I wished to look upon the pants of my weasels.
- BOROMIR: And they have a pants-weasel!
- ARAGORN: By nightfall these pants will be swarming with weasels.
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